entwinedlives23

My education gave me a lot of unintended benefits.  It also let me explore the area I did intend to experience, but over all, I realize now that I had no idea what my options were.  I never received career exploration opportunities and had no idea how to get from life what I wanted, no idea what OPTIONS I really had for careers that would have suited me better. 

My college also taught me about being service oriented, and I think that was good, but I was so impressionable, and naive.  I was never the focus of the benefits of my labor.  It was always about giving to others to help fulfill their dreams and aspirations, but at 32, I realize that MY dreams and aspirations were never part of the equation. 

I am beginning to see that in order to make the world a better place, and to really contribute to my community, I have to take care of me first, I have to help myself fulfill my dreams, and that will in turn help my local community, and my family and my friends.  Helping people in poor situations is all fine and dandy, but how poor was I emotionally when I was neglecting myself!  Change begins with me, and it begins with believing in myself.  I tell my students this all the time, and yet have never done it for myself.  How silly!

I am leaving the career that college prepared me for, but I have the confidence that my college experience gave me to move forward, and I know that I will be successful in whatever I do, because I always have.

M and P bought two paintings and started bids on three others. It's nice to get feedback like that--someone likes my ideas! woot!

My week has been pretty good so far. We found a new girly friend, one that likes us both, and we're on the same terms and level, and all that. I'm ready to begin again, the Fool card is mine! but then again so is the adventure.
I love you all and hope the rest of your week is bless'd!!!

Somtimes I feel like I'm talking to myself.
DO you guys even read the journals anymore? Or has facebook taken over?
they don't let me embed and stuff likethis site does, I'm def. not readyto keep up one myself.

I had the third to last sitting on mytat tonight. I am so stoked to share it with you all--in person!

I keep talking about you all to everyone here. It def. keeps my spirits up. My students are driving me crazy and i'm trying to get a coo going on a t work even though I am leaving. This boss is not good for the kids or the teachers who work there. The kids after6 months don't even know who she is, and the teachers all hate her b/c we def. DO know what she is up to--giving us more bullsh** work so that we are chasing our tails. So frustrating. and the legislature ruled in Nov. to take away our right to a contract and a right to tenure. Anyone can be let go at any time, and ourpay docked for no reason if they want. There is just no respect.

Ah, to be self-enployed.

I am silently freeking out.  I have a few weeks left and I just paid $280 for 7 new paintings to be photographed and they look like shit. The photographer that I used last time I was using again, and I know him, so I am hoping we can work soemthing out, but the reds and yellows are all wrong... arg!!!!!!!!!!!!  And the phtographer dropped his camera and lense on assignment last week and won't hava new one for another week. 
I have the Gugenheim fellowship deadline looming over me putting the pressure on to get them right. 
Ok I think I am done with my freek out for now. 
AutumnStar had her 11th b-day today.  it's her 11-11-11th b-day.  Kinda cool.   I got her a "bamboo" pen and pad so that she can draw digital cartoons.  She is really into cartooning and also the style manga.  There are facebook type sites for her to go hang out with kids and trade comics with.  She's very stoked.  When she does her first one, I will post a link.

TTFN

heartache.  that's life recently.  I have to keep remembering that the past 5 days are not indicative of my life or the year.  I have to keep perspective.  First the car accident, then, just as I am about to breathe a sigh of relief, my cat isn't feeling good. I called my vet on Saturday and told them of the issues I was seeing and they said the ydidn't have time to see him.  THey prescribed him an antibiotic over the phone.
He didn't get better.  Adam took him in on Monday and the Dr. said he had an hour left orless to live if we hadn't brought him in.  His kidney's had totally failed and he was drowning internally.  yeah.  so, $400 later, it's night time and they tell me that if I take him home, he has less of a chance of living but the ER is $800 min. a night.  I had just read an article about this ER, the only one in town, and about how aweful they are..no way.  I figured he had abetter chance with Adam and me.  So Adam stayed up ALL night ans expressed his bladder every 30 minutes.  MY HERO.  And so we took him back to the vet today, another $400, and his Kidneys are ok, but his had a bowl obstruction.  He may not make it if the blood that is still coming out occassionally clots the catheter.  god.  so we get to stay up again, and wait. and wait.  and hope against hopes. For the rest of the week it will be "hopefully" less ..about $50 a day.  That decision was hard.  You don't know if they will make it, meanwhile you're spending cash like its going out of style.
crosss your fingers for him.

I can't help but share. 
cool weird bazzare  there are holographic things on this page that make me drool.  I can't wait for 10 years from now.  Even I will fork over the dough for a holographic phone,, or credit card

I got it from here..there are stunning pictures of Russian castles...


tell me you don't wish you had been to this paint fight. 

SO this new little car I got is fun to drive. we did decide to get the Honda Insight.   Adam is excited because it has a video game console inside for tracking eco driving skills.  You even get trophies if you have a an all time record LOL.

I get to take it to work for the first time tomorrow.  The one good thing about having to return to work again.  bleck.  I have this person that I work with that is a conniving, lying F***.  He is... beyond words, and I have to see if there is any damage that he caused while on vacation talking to the new boss.  He called me a bitch last week and it was all I could do to smile and pretend I didn't hear anything.  I really want to get him fired, but I really just want to live my own life without him in it, with only good memories between me and my boss.  I only have until May.  I just gotta find a way to avoid working with someone that is on my "team". 

We canned apple butter last week.  It was much simpler than jellies and so I think I will be making those annually and of course sending them with the jellies that I did make this summer.  I have this wierd thing about making it to the post office.  It never happens. 
We are going to try to make pumpkin butter next.  mmmmmmmmm

What else....ooo I got my tattoo worked on - on Friday.  I had a record 4 hour session, and I owe it to the percoset.
The phoenix is nearly done save for one of the wings.  He said I have about 20 hours left. I will post pictures when it is more healed. 
Havea good week my lovelies.

Well, My baby was totalled on Tuesday night.  yep, my dream car is no more. But apparently Honda makes really safe cars.  I am in one piece! yeah! I felt like I had been shoved againast a wall for several hours afterwards, eventhough that side of me didn't actually hit anything.  I guess I got jostled quite a bit.  I have a swolen arm and knee, but my back is only moderately sore so far. 

A lady ran a red light, and I was trying to turn left.  You see, lights here have left turn arrows after the red light.  It was my turn to go, and she tried to take it from me.  She is denying it, and so I have to go to court in November.  She smashed into the front tip of my car, and shoved me (wasn't moving at all) into a Tahoa that was (also not moving) in the alternate lane. 

The quest begins for a new car.  I would really like to have my old one back, actually.  Unfortunately, I can't afford my old car.  So we thing we're going to get a Honda Insight. 

automobiles.honda.com/insight-hybrid/price.aspx
Drive dafely!

www.moma.org/explore/multimedia/videos/70/442 Arg I don't know how to imbed things..so sorry, but take a secondto check out this MOMA video on women.  It captivated me and I can't wait to find some magazines to read.  I just wonder what took it's place after it stopped in 1992. 
WHo are we?
Here is the web page...the film is on the Heretics http://www.moma.org/explore/multimedia

Arg! I took the day off, feigning sickness so I could go to court about a traffic fine, finish my application to the gugenheim fellowship, and and finalize paperwok for a work related Grant, as well as create a matrix for observing kids, and I want to pull my hair out.

I am sick! bleck! wish me well

wow so I can't believe how busy I have been.  I am so stoked to get the hell out of here, that I have been painting like crazy and talking to realitors and trying to get several more jobs at the colleges/u ofPhoenix and grant stuff.... and don't forget the trip to Europe we are planning on our way outta here! good grief!

It occurred to me that as both a teacher and an artist, there are grants available for travel expenses, classes and the like.  I have a neighbor that needs a favor and it just so happens that she has a degree in grant writing! woot!! I am so excited to see what kind of hook up I can get going. After all, our entire trip is centered around museums and statues etc. that we are lookingforward to seeing.
I found out that the louve in Paris has free art history classesin the evening, and I am looking to see what I can get going on is Spain as well.  The end of our trip will culminate in a "Run with the bulls" in Pamplona.  Adam is hoping to get gored.  I can only imagine ::cringe:: but you know it wouldn't be the first time that I've had to endure the emergency room for him ::hardy har har::

A friend we are going with has an uncle in Sweden, so we are planning on hitting them up for awhile.  Should be fun.  Apparently the eurail pass includes ferries and trains in all the countries, making some of the travel days cheeper what with sleeper cars and all. 

We have several more countries in mind, but I'm still researching specifics for now. 
picasaweb.google.com/openeye2377/Pix#
This weekend we are planning on going tubing down the only river within 4 hours of here--salt river.  I am so excited to be around some water and good friends.  It takes 4 hours to tube the whole thing, and then they have a shuttle takes you back to your car. 

There is a fruit that grows on cactus here called Prickly Pear.  We have made jelly the past few years and finally got the recipe right.
So we are taking orders.  Let me know who wants some and we will ship it all at once to Mike and Patty's or Adrienne's or whatever works best for you guys and then you can all go hog wild over our jelly.
We will also be trying a pepper jelly version this year as well as making syrup for pancakes.  I might also add that the syrup is divine in Margaritas.  It is the flavor that they were originally made with back in the day before strawberries and such were available in the South. 

So, who wants some?

We're back!
I just wanted to drop you a line and let you know we made it safely home!
For those of you who I was fortunate enough to see, however brief, Thank you so much for such a wonderful time.  We were wanting for nothing, other than to move back!

SO the plan is to be moved by next summer.  There are a lot of things to take care of in the mean time.  One thing that is yet uncertain is my current situation.  I had some time to spend with my new boss in San Diego this last week, and while I can say that she is a great person, I am not liking her management so far, and it's only day 2.  We'll see. 

But what is really wacked, and I think you'll agree, is that the state of AZ is still screwing around with it's budget stuff.  It plans on being bankrupt at this rate by October.  The big question is... if your employer goes bankrupt, do you still get paid when that employer is the State government?  b/c adam said that the moment i stop getting paid is the moment we high tail it outta here, b/c there is no way to pay the morgage!  Adam said that he thinks furloughs happen first.  That way we can be in limbo with benefits, I guess?  I still won't be able to pay the morgage either way.  Who knows?
The slippery slope that I forsee in this situation is very grimm indeed.  The number of people not being able to keep their homes is going to skyrocket. 

I understand that CA declared last week.  I will be watching very closely to see what is going on.

"What is real?" asked the rabbit one day. "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"

"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin horse. It doesn't happen all at once. You become. It takes a long time. Generally by the time you are Real, most of you hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you et loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."

I want to leave for Washington NOW, dang it!

Unfortunately, I have a traffic fine hearing Friday, and a schedule to spend July 4 in Santa Cruz, so no rush, really.

We've been planning stuff for Critical Massive, which will be our first time, and submitted an art project idea at Alan's prompting.
It's neat! they give small grants for the ideas, making it possible for someone like me--out of state, to buys supplies up there. 

We'll see. 

Also, our friend who moved here to be near us was living with us for awhile, but got a new place and then a puppy! OMG she is so cute; we named her Zoey!  She is a pit/chow mix. I am NOT a dog fan, BUT, as a puppy, she doesn't smell and is not hyper- my two biggest pet peeves about dogs.  I've never seen a puppy so mellow, friendly and easy to train.  It gives AutumnStar a dog fix without me having to get one myself, they are so much work!  She has been aksing for another pet like crazy, and I don't think she is ready for the responsibility, so we gave her some chores to take care of Zoey to help her get the idea of what it takes.  The last thinkg I need is anotherpet to take care, of so this lets me off the hook. 

SO I joined a community art club called Dinnerware here in town awhile back and I have just entered my second piece in a show!
It will be displayed at the local hip Hotel Congress & their adjoining Club Congress night club.  I did something totally different this time around, as the theme was nudes, nakedness, and naturalism.  How could I pass that theme up?!

It's a drawing/painting mix of a woman, sitting head down in her lap,  in nothing but red boots, no color even to her skin her emotions are so bare.  There are swirly lines in the background offering up clues to her thoughts, etc.  I like the life that the boots take on.  I wouldn't ever have thought to do this subject matter if it hadn't been for the chance to participate, so I'm totally stoked.

I have also been reading a lot of  marketing 101 for artists, and it is super practical, as well as uplifting.  to hear someone else talk about the self defeating blabber that goes on in other artist's heads totally deflates the gravity of my ego bad talk and puts it where it belongs--out of my head!  I can market myself...I will have fun doing it!

My current portfolio is here: http://www.arthousecoop.com/users/openeye23

www.youtube.com/watch
I don't know about you guys, but I am always fascinated by Egypt. 
Adam's first tattoo by me was a scarab.  I'll post the outline photo later this week.  His second outline practice piece by me will be anubis, so I was doing some research, and this was a great video that I found.
The text is in French, so I'm not totally sure where it is, but it is a great video of some sites that I have never seen in books before.
Enjoy!

http://www.robotnine.com/2009/03/julian-beever-and-his-amazing-three.html
Check  this out! so real looking!

SO, yeah, Adam's tattoo guy Jason made a tattoo gun for me and we went and got inks for it today.  This poor grapefruit had no idea what was in store when I picked him up this afternoon.  I'm not sure it will be anythign more than a hobby for a long time, but Isaid I neededa new hobby, so there it is!

School let out last week, I got a contract, finally, and another installment of my back tattoo is in the itching stages already, so it's all good here. I plan on heading up to Phoenix each Tuesday to protest the Republican BullS+++ that is currently going on about education.. Each time they go back to rewrite the budget, they chop more out of our budget.  Those rich bastards have no idea what will be in store for them when there aren't any schools to take the kids to each day and the kids get board and decide to raise a ruccus.  Seriously, it's getting so bad up there, I have to wonder at the state of humanity some times. 

I am very anxious to get to Seattle just the same, to breathe the fresh ocean air, huddle in a parka in the summer around a camp fire and listen to some good toons with y'all.  CM should be great. Marissa talks about each year and I've never been!  I still have the photo of our last outing a few years back when AutumnStar was giving her a light stick show! Fun times Itell ya.  I even had HUmmus this evening to get my taste buds ready.